Stewart Trashes Dunn Verdict: Lesson? Fire Gun in Florida, You Better F*cking Hit Somebody

Jon Stewart kicked off Tuesday night’s Daily Show going to down on the Michael Dunn verdict, flabbergasted that he was convicted for attempted murder but not first-degree murder. He said the lesson here is “if you fire a gun, you better fucking hit somebody, ’cause if there’s one thing Floridians don’t tolerate, it’s survivors.”

Stewart said this isn’t just some “run-of-the-mill Florida batsh*t,” showing Dunn’s knowledge of “rap crap” and being a “keen observer of everyone else’s racism,” including his assertion the legal system leans in blacks’ favor. Stewart said, “The courts are so biased towards black that they are letting all of them go to jail!”

Correspondent Jessica Williams then jumped in with advice for black people on how to avoid dealing with frightened white people. One recommendation: stay indoors. All the time. She said, “Don’t go wander in the street where you might scare a white person.”

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Stewart Rips Obama's Ambassador Appointments: Hey, Look! Democrats Can Be Corrupt Too!

When Nancy Pelosi was on The Daily Show recently, she told Jon Stewart there is corruption in Washington, but it’s mainly the Republicans’ fault. Well, Stewart used that as a jumping-off point Wednesday night to rip the Democrats a new one for engaging in some corruptive behavior of their own: President Obama rewarding big donors with appointments to ambassadorships.

Appointed ambassadors to Norway, Argentina, and Iceland have, for example, never been to any of the countries they are now expected to deal with. Stewart cried, “Have any of you f*cking people been to EPCOT Center?” They have, however, given lots of money to Obama, so, Stewart mused, it’s almost as if Democrats are actually capable of financial corruption too…

However, the U.S. ambassador to Russia is stepping down, and Stewart said this should be an opportunity for the White House to just pick someone “we aren’t that crazy about that then just sending them away.” Stewart’s nominee: Sean Hannity.

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Stewart Rips Everyone on Immigration: It's GOP Hypocrites vs. Passive-Aggressive Dems!

Immigration reform seemed like a sure thing this year, until it suddenly wasn’t again. Jon Stewart tried to figure out why things went so horribly wrong, and it turned out to be mostly Republican hypocrisy on enforcing the law mixed with some “passive-aggressive” Democratic taunting.

The big reason Republicans backed out is because, as John Boehner put it, they just don’t trust President Obama to enforce the law. Stewart cried, “That’s his whole job!” and called Republicans out for “the greatest projection in the history of psychology.” Referring to the NBC sportscaster’s pinkeye, Stewart said GOP blaming Obama for not enforcing the law “is like Bob Costas saying ‘No, I don’t want to borrow your glasses. I don’t know where they’ve been.’”

But of course, for every action, there is an equal and opposite disingenuous reaction, and it came in the form of Chuck Schumer engaging in some “passive-aggressive democracy,” which the GOP didn’t go for either. Say what you will about Chris Christie, Stewart said, at least he “knows how to clog a border.”

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O'Reilly Fires Back at Jon Stewart: Are You Hearing Me Out There in Left-Wing Fantasy land?

Jon Stewart opened Tuesday night’s Daily Show with a blistering take down of Fox News and Bill O’Reilly‘s big Super Bowl interview with President Obama, and O’Reilly responded Wednesday night by saying Stewart was simply disappointed he deviated from the liberal media talking points in his questions to the president on Benghazi and Obama care.
O’Reilly rolled his eyes at the charge he grilled Obama about “phony issues,” saying Stewart was simply “echoing” the president in his dismissal of the big scandals his administration’s been hit with in the past year. He explained, “These issues aren't important to Jon Stewart or even to the president… because they don’t pertain to social justice or global warming.”
He walked through all the reasons Obama care, Benghazi, and the IRS are still important issues to talk about, concluding with a question to Stewart: “Are you hearing me out there in left-wing fantasy land?”

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Stewart Tears into Obama Scandal Obsession at Spite-Driven Anger Machine Fox News

Jon Stewart thinks Fox News is maybe a little too sensitive about President Obama taking a few swipes at them during his Super Bowl interview with Bill O’Reilly, and mocked the idea that the leader of the free world went out of his way to deflect from the major scandals plaguing his administration by doing an interview in which naught but those scandals were addressed on the same day and on the same network as the most watched television event of all time.
Stewart said, “You know the president doesn’t work for Fox, right? He can deviate from your script!” He showed clip after clip of Fox personalities citing a number of different events, speeches, and policy announcements that could easily be distractions from either the economy or a scandal.
Stewart could only conclude that Fox News is a “spite-driven anger machine” in which there is a perpetual vortex that nothing except the Obama scandal of the day can exist independently in.