Sunday, January 25, 2015

Watch These Pranksters Terrify An Entire Town By Convincing People That A Zombie Apocalypse Is Underway


It’s incredible that no one got hurt while filming this prank video, considering that if most people were under the impression that a zombie apocalypse was nigh I’d think they’d start running those motherfuckers over with cars. The pranksters even had a massive fake explosion go off! What more excuse do you need to start mowin’ zombies down?

The video was filmed in Magione, Italy, and from what I can tell the residents of Magione are some of the chillest people in the whole friggin’ world considering none of the people who were pranked in this video at least maimed a prankster.





This Magnificent Snow Penis Was Just Too Edgy For Society, Man (VIDEO)


This is the Alamo of Texas Tech.

In a video uploaded to YouTube Thursday, a group of brave college bros can be seen banding together to protect a sacred, erected monument to man from, well, the man.

As our warriors take their positions, standing up to the might of a bulldozer, cries of war echo through the campus.

"Everyone sit on the dick!" a student shouts with vigor.

"Solidify it! Start pouring water!" says what was probably a mechanical engineer.

Our noble heroes then begin pouring jugs of water around the base of the statue. Unfortunately, these first-year students have not yet realized that bulldozers don't give a f**k about a little ice.

Another suggests they wait until they are able to contact the President. As in, the President.

As the mechanical beast rumbles forward, our protectors of beauty and freedom stand firm.

"Shit's getting real!" a bard sings.

"Don't move!" yells someone who has already moved.

Eventually they do move, because it is important to respect adults but not before taking a selfie.

Our patriots explain further on their website:

They repeatedly asked us to move while we protested it. After awhile, they told us we had to move or would get into trouble, so we obliged but not before taking one last picture.

We will never forget your sacrifice, young men.





Saturday, January 24, 2015

CCTV: Manhole explosion narrowly misses toddler

"She didn't have a scratch. I'm feeling very blessed she's my precious girl," mother Sanele Mhlanga said.


BIRMINGHAM, England, Jan. 23 (UPI) The mother of a 2-year-old girl who was seen on CCTV cameras narrowly evading a blown manhole cover said it was "a miracle" she wasn't hit.
West Midlands Fire and Rescue posted CCTV footage from the Thursday incident in Birmingham, England, showing how the manhole exploded and launched its cover while Sanele Mhlanga was walking by with her daughter, Karen.

The manhole cover narrowly misses Karen Mhlanga, who runs to her mother in the video.

"She didn't have a scratch. I'm feeling very blessed she's my precious girl," Mhlanga told the BBC.

"I was just calling Karen to come towards me and the next thing I just froze and thought 'my God, what's happening,'" she said. "[The thought of] losing my only daughter was really quite shocking it's a miracle I'm still holding her like this."

The National Grid said gas emergency service workers are investigating the cause of the explosion.


Source: http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2015/01/23/CCTV-Manhole-explosion-narrowly-misses-toddler/3971422031732/?spt=sec&or=on

People Who Had Worse Sex Than You In 2014


Is your New Year’s resolution to have more sex? Better sex? Any sex at all? We can simplify that for you: As long as you’re not one of the following people, you’re probably doing OK.

The Woman Who Had A Sex Toy Stuck Inside Her For 10 Years

When it comes to love, it’s usually best to let go of the past, and that goes for sex toys, too. Unfortunately, a Scottish woman apparently didn’t get the memo, and wound up with a sex toy stuck inside her vagina for a decade, according to an article published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine this June. 

The Teen Who Simulated Oral Sex With A Jesus Statue

In September, a 14-year-old from Pennsylvania was charged with "desecration of a venerated object," after allegedly simulating oral sex with the kneeling Jesus statue in front of the “Love in the Name of Christ” Christian center in his hometown of Everett.

Anyone Who Tried To Get Better At Oral Sex By Licking Their Phone

Relationship counselors say you should keep your phone out of the bedroom, but some people would say this is an exception. In March, a San Francisco-based team released an app called “Lick This” that promises to improve users’ cunnilingus skills. The catch? You have to lick your phone.

The Man Who Just Loves Pool Rafts Too Much

2014 saw Weird News hero Edwin Tobergta get his third arrest for having sex with an inflatable pool raft. The Ohio man was caught with his pants down in an alley making sweet love to his neighbor’s raft in 2011, then again in 2013 with the exact same raft. It’s unclear if his 2014 arrest involved the same toy, (seriously, when is his neighbor going to get rid of that?) but it’s clear he has a type.

Alaskans

Average intercourse time for Alaskans is shorter than for residents of any other U.S. state, according to sex-tracking App Spreadsheets. The average time for the northernmost state is a quick-and-dirty 1 minute and 21 seconds. Is the data collected by this app extremely limited and not scientific or definitive at all? Yes. Is this still funny? Yes.

Paul Aronson

This 84-year-old man reportedly met 17-year-old twins through a sugar daddy website in November. When he brought the duo back to his apartment for a drink, the night shockingly didn’t end well. Cops say the girls tied him up with zip ties, stole $420 in cash and took his credit card.

Anyone Who Uses These Sex Toys

The AVN Adult Entertainment Expo debuted some new sex toys last February that are more likely to make most people laugh than moan in ecstasy. But if you do get personal enjoyment out of a lube fountain or a My Little Pony-themed butt plug, please email us and tell us how wrong we are.

The Couple Who Got Suctioned Together Having Sex In The Ocean

It turns out sex in the ocean sucks. An Italian couple looking to make waves in their love life tried to have sex in the ocean and reportedly became suctioned together and unable to separate. The two ended up having to go to an emergency room, where the lady received an injection that’s “usually used to dilate the uterus of pregnant women.” 



Church Leader Jerald Hill Suspected Of Attempted Dog Sex



A church leader in Roach, Missouri, is out of a job after being arrested for allegedly trying to arrange a sexual encounter with a dog.

Jerald Hill, 56, was arrested Tuesday on suspicion of attempted unlawful sex with an animal and attempted animal abuse.

Authorities began investigating Hill after the Boone County Sheriff’s Department Cyber Crimes Task Force got a tip about a Craigslist post by a man looking for two types of animals for sex.


One of the chosen animals was a dog, but investigators declined to mention the other type of animal, the Columbia Tribune reports.

An undercover detective contacted Hill by email and offered a dog for sex. The two then arranged a meeting in Columbia. When Hill arrived, he was arrested without incident, according to CBS St. Louis.

Hill was released after paying $1,000 bail.

The allegations have had a negative effect on Hill's job as the CEO of the Windermere Baptist Conference Center.

A day after Hill's arrest, church leaders released a statement saying that the organization is "concerned for the well-being of Jerry," but will meet next week to start "the process of looking for a new president and CEO,” according to APBnews.com.


Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/08/jerald-hill_n_5662462.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-sex

Play-DOH! Hasbro Takes The Penis Out Of Its Plaything

PROVIDENCE, R.I. (AP) It was an embarrassing Christmas for Nivea Cabrera after she was accused by her fiance's mother of letting her 5-year-old granddaughter play with a sex toy. A mortified Carbrera asked the child where she got the penis-shaped plastic cylinder.

"It's from my Play-Doh," the girl replied.

Hasbro, the Pawtucket-based toy company, is now doing damage control over the extruder tool in its Play-Doh Cake Mountain toy. The two-piece syringe-like tool, which includes a tube with corkscrew-type ridges around the outside and a dome-shaped top with a hole at the tip, can be used to squeeze Play-Doh to look like decorative cake frosting.


Complaints have been surfacing since at least November, when Tulsa, Oklahoma, TV station KTUL showed the tool to parents and asked them what they thought. The station blurred the image of the tool during the piece, saying it was due to parents' reactions. One woman told the station it was "a pretty phallic cake-decorating piece."

After Christmas, comments started pouring in to Play-Doh's Facebook page, including from Cabrera, of Lancaster, Pennsylvania. She said Hasbro called her after she posted a photo of the tool and asked about the shape on Christmas Day. She said the company offered to send her a replacement tool in a different shape, which she has not received.

Erin Rivers, a mother of two from Melbourne, Florida, thought it was hilarious when she helped her 6-year-old daughter open the box.

"I pulled out this extruder tool, and I just started cracking up at it, I couldn't help it. Then I immediately put the Play-Doh in it and took a picture of," she said.

Then, she posted it on Facebook.

"My friends have just as dirty minds as I do," she said. "It was hysterical to me. And then I gave it my daughter to play with."

She said her daughter and 4-year-old son don't notice anything strange about the toy.

Hasbro Inc. has received thousands of comments on the Play-Doh Facebook page pointing out the obvious.

"We are in the process of updating all future Play-Doh products with a different tool," it said in a statement posted on the page Tuesday.

It also offered to replace the tool for anyone who has complaints.

Rivers, who works in a pediatric dental office, says she's not upset at all. But she is flabbergasted that the toy slipped past so many layers of people at Hasbro.

"They have to have someone who creates it, someone who makes the plastic mold, someone who plays with it," she said. "I can't imagine that as many people that probably saw the toy, not one person said, 'Does anyone else think this looks like a penis?'"


Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/12/31/play-doh-penis-shaped-cake_n_6401482.html